A&E Commentary

MTV, will your genius never cease? What else can explain the entertainment channel’s grandiose plan to rejuvenate their MTV Films brand and make everyone shout “I want my MTV the fuck away from me” than with TV movies, the single cheapest and ultimately pointless endeavours in the history of moving pictures?

High five for censorship! Anyone? No? Well, then you should probably know that the Alberta government is going back to the heydays of book burnings and banned public works. The recently approved Bill 18 will see the creation of a film “czar” with wide-reaching and draconian powers, and more than anything, proves how backwards and foolish the Alberta government can really be.

Mon•tag (noun): A person who ditches one’s friends for one’s loser boyfriend resulting in endless drama, at which point one is forced to stay with said loser boyfriend because he’s the only person left in one’s life (Origin: Heidi Montag). Example: “OMG! Heidi made plans with Lauren, but she like totally pulled a Montag and hung out with Spencer instead!”

That high-pitched sound gamers have been hearing echoing through their ears lately is the sound of the gaming world crying out in pain. This once-mighty video gaming business has been laid low by the most foul of assailants: little eight-year-old snot-faced Timmy wanting to buy a used copy of Pokemon Blue with the $5 he’s got clutched in his hand.

“I shan’t be going to see [the Watchmen movie]. My book is a comic book. Not a movie, not a novel. A comic book. It’s been made in a certain way and designed to be read a certain way: in an armchair, nice and cozy next to a fire, with a steaming cup of coffee.”

In spite of declining ratings, extortion from cast members, and non-existent quality control, The Simpsons, being the television equivalent of Rasputin, has been signed for another two seasons. This will ensure that it replaces Gunsmoke as the longest-running series in American television history.

When Marion Cotillard congratulated Kate Winslet on pushing “the boundaries of what’s possible” at the 2009 Academy Awards, I thought it could be unintentionally taken to mean that Winslet pushed the boundaries of what’s possible by pulling off an Auschwitz death-camp guard that actually evokes sympathy.

I love buying tickets to events. No, scratch that—I love the process of buying tickets to events.

Man the guns and cast the sails, because a giant battle over piracy is mounting. After much petitioning from media companies, the government of Sweden is pursuing copyright charges against the massive torrent site, The Pirate Bay.

Like an insecure girlfriend, the tabloids tend to have a really bad habit where they take an everyday situation and totally blow it out of proportion. So it comes as no surprise that Christian Bale has come under fire after news of his F-word-laden tirade on the set of Terminator: Salvation began to surface on the Internet. The four-minute audio clip contains a very angry Bale tearing a new one out of director of photography (DOP) Shane Hurlburt, for repeatedly ruining both his scene and his concentration by walking around on set.